me vs. myself

There comes a point in your life when you realize how strong you are. When you have to do something so hard, to put yourself through seemingly pointless pain. You think while you are doing it that you are doing the right thing. That even though all the people are effected, it was worth it. That's what you should hope for anyway. There is the creeping, itching whisper that says it wasn't. That what you just did was probably the stupidest thing you have ever done and that things will never be the same again. Ever.   
 'Why'd you do that? I don't think that you could have ever destroyed that moment better then you just did. '
'But, I was doing the right thing!'
'Were you? Were you really?'
'Of course I was! I was thinking of the future, not the immediate pleasure.'
'Humph. You probably won't have any fun or anything after that. You hurt some feelings and now they will never be the same.'
'If they are really my friends, they'll forgive me and understand.'
'Yup. Sure. You tell yourself that.'
'I am strong enough to get through it. Even if I have to do it alone. I was acting for the best. Trying to follow every thing I've been told since I was little. I am strong. I am. It'll all work out eventually.'
'And if it doesn't?'

*Sigh* I think this could go on for a long time. But, I am still desperatly hoping that the good guy wins this one. I kinda need her to.