Announcement

Dear Blog,
I have a very urgent and most important announcement to make.

WHAT IN THE HELL-O WAS THAT?!

Thank you.

Well Now!

Do you people want me to tell you the wonderful, most interesting, absolutely riveting highlights of my life? No?! Well, I don't blame you. It's quite dry actually. There's not really any life-changing stories, or tear-jerking experiences either. Wow. I am lame. But you should know that while I am here waiting for me life to begin I will entertain you with a story. This one involves a high-adventure rouge named Oliver Sans. He thought he was the greatest, the most dashing, the infamous extraordinaire! The women thought he was the criminal to steal away their hearts and live happily ever after with. This is where I point out to you how stupid some women are. Ahem ladies, a thief isn't interested in ONE of anything, which includes the women-folk. Anyway, this Oliver Sans was out riding with his trusty horse Ma'am and they came across a spunky little town on the river side. Oliver almost immediately was recognized by the single chicas and swarmed like a piece of cowpie on a hot summer day. He was getting mighty annoyed by the flitter-tee-gibbits and pulled out his rifle."Now if ya'll seedlings don't scram I'ma pull my rusty trigger enough so's we don't see no more whole pieces of flesh!" Let's just say the women were not amused and ran away in a real pathetic fashion, kickin' and screamin' all the way. All except for one. Now this gal's name was Anna Bee Jane and she don't take  crap from run-down renegades like Oliver Sans. She pulled out her pistol, pointed it right at Ma'am and said, "Mighty gee dumplin'! Yur horse looky like she's lustin for some steel! Lucky for her, I got plenty in my here gun!" Oliver Sans wasn't too keen on some humpty dumpty foxy lady telling him what was what and he swung the rifle over so fast and sure-like a sonic boom erupted into a swirl of smoke. "You der wo-man don't go tellin Master Sans what to do! You'll know what's good fer ya when you can count the teeth remainin' in yer mouth and come up with the real good figure of three!" And off he fired his gun!  Miss Anna Bee Jane, at that exact instant, squooze the trigger of her pistol, aimin right for Oliver San's trusty rusty rifle. Now a strange thing occurred here that no one can explain by science. The bullet in the pistol did a sort of ginormous explosion and traveled so fast as to beat the rifle's round. It spun it's way straight down Oliver San's rifle barrel and collided with the round to create such a ginormous explosion to be heard throughout the entire hee-doggin' town. Oliver Sans screamed in agony as his trusty gun fell to ruin by his side and fury sparkled into an engulfing flame towards miss Anna Bee Jane. Words refused to satisfy the Oliver San's rage and he reached down for his pocket knife stowed in his right boot. With a distorted face full of hatred, he threw his knife with all the strength and adrenaline a man can muster. Anna Bee Jane wasn't having none of that, so she lifted her pistol one last time and shot Mister Oliver Sans right dag-gum in the foot. Then she hee-hawed the sheriff and hauled his no good hind pots off to the County Jail. Here Oliver Sans still remains. You can recognize the frozen sneer on his mug and the silver ball embedded in his heel. All thanks to Miss Anna Bee Jane. THE END:)

What the Smerf

Basically it's 2:13 am and I can't seem to fall asleep. Actually I haven't tried yet, but it's not happening any time soon. So I was watching random shows on TV to pass the time and Titanic was on and well, I'd never seen it and it was on TV so no super bad stuff was comin, so I watched it. Let me tell ya, I knew what was gonna happen the whole time. Yeah, the boat sinks, thousands die, Rose lives yada yada but holy crap! It was so sad! The worst ever part of the whole stinkin thing though was when that slimeball i don't even know his name, but the fiancé idiot grabs that poor little kid and uses her to get HIM on a boat! You SCUMBUCKET! Urg. It has once been said that every good story has to have a really good idiot. Let me tell you that with all his idiocy going on, we could of had three or four really awesome stories along with that one! The other thing that moved me I guess was how- ok. In order to continue, I have to quote the Joker. If you can't handle it, please stop reading now. But the Joker says that 'in their last moments, people show you who they really are. Do you wanna know which ones were cowards?' ( sorry that last bit isn't relevant, but I love it so I had to put it in:)) anyway! It was amazing to see the gaping contrast that suddenly appeared when the last moments came. There was a coward line and a hero/noble line. Hardly anyone was middle ground. I wonder what one I would cross... Probably the kiss every hot man I could find before my last breath line where ever that one is:) But the saddest part of the whole thing wasn't the cold death of Jack, or the paddling through all those cold, lifeless bodies, or even all the screaming and heartbreak. Nope. The saddest part was when those two old people just layed down in their bed and let the water engulf them. I don't know why, but it felt so ...what I would do. if I were old and with the person I loved, fighting would be so useless. Let's just have a cute little kiss and start repenting honey!
So yeah, there ya go peoples. I'm not a hero, I might even be a damsel in distress dang it, but hopefully, I'm a noble one at that.

Genius!

Dear Blogging World,
I would like to inform you that Krista Jaelynne Larsen of Smithfield, Utah is a genius. Ok, maybe not really, but I definitely feel like one today! You wanna know why? Well, I'll tell you why! Because I have just written with my own boggling mind, a song!! Yay! And all you people out there that maybe write songs everyday of your life, stop being unimpressed because it is a very momentous occasion for one such as me to do something like that. And here's the song drama are you ready? I have had this one that I've been working on for like weeks namely my black lady song (believe me- it's not racist, it's a compliment) and it just makes no sense at all! It's just raspy and mean and dang fun to slam on a guitar, but it no work. So today while I was trying to look busy so as not to get chored I started just singing randomly and what do you know?! This catchy song just came to me in like two and a half hours flat! Weird how you can spend so long on something that sucks, and then just whip out something that rocks! A sign to me that procrastination is the answer after all! So if you would like to hear my wonderful new creation, you'd better hurry up or you will have to pay admission:)
Krista over and out!